what if harry had been sorted into slytherin though
- sarcastic bastard and no need to pretend otherwise
- learning the names of people outside your immediate circle of friends??? please
- usually overdramatic, sometimes morally grey
- sirius having to deal with the fact that his godson is a slytherin. a slytherin. james potter’s son is in slytherin. remus can you believe this
- bezzies-by-circumstance with draco malfoy with all the highlights including a) earth-shattering fights, b) someone brazen enough to curb draco’s nastiness, and c) someone unimpressed enough to tell harry to get a fucking grip and stop being so self-righteous all the time potter you frilly whingebag
- (and a friendship with harry/draco reluctantly getting roped into his cause could have changed a whole buncha shit for the malfoys and all that Malfoy Joins the Order With Snape fic of ‘03-‘05 could have come true)
- speaking of, a head of house/student relationship with snape might have saved his character from being entirely reprehensible
- challenging the wizarding public’s views of slytherin house by pitting their ridiculous prejudices against their blind all-consuming love for/faith in harry
- quirrell was a ravenclaw and wormtail was a gryffindor [insert harry’s sarcastic one-liner about all the witches and wizards who went bad being in slytherin here]
- jkr putting her money where her mouth is re: “we’ve all got both light and dark inside us, it’s our choices who make us who we truly are” by putting the boy who lived and eventual saviour of the wizarding world in the ~evil house~
- or even better she could have established slytherin as the ~evil house~ and then dismantled that completely by showing harry surrounded by loving, caring people forced to choose between standing beside their friend harry or supporting voldemort’s/their parents’ cause
- harry’s group of friends torn in two by their parents’ ideology and their loyalty to harry and what they’ve seen to be true while sharing a home with hundreds of halfbloods and muggleborns
- and then members of slytherin house fighting tooth and nail against the people who raised them because harry potter just has that effect on people
- all resulting in an eventual about-face in people’s attitudes towards slytherins
- and when harry has kids they’re proud at the thought of being sorted into slytherin house because their dad was a slytherin and he saved the fucking world
i never knew i needed this but i need this
#imagine if snape has assumed a fatherly/uncle-y role#instead of abuse hatred?? Ugh caligulette stop with giving me all these feels. That would have been so great.
How funny millielove95 is having me read this fic and this circles through my dash
have fun kids
guys just imagine
a punk-rock concert takes places on a beach and a group of mermaids swim to the surface, wondering what that noise is because it’s the most incredible thing they’ve ever heard
and see land-walkers wearing peculiar outfits and hair in spikes and these mermaids are absolutely in love
so they start their own brand of punk culture with squid ink tattoos, seaweed tartan, fish-hook earrings and pierced tails
and they scavenge for thrown out music memorabilia and submerged leather jackets (their prized treasure is a waterproof radio they found on the beach)
and the real problem is trying to find a way to spike their hair, so for the moment they just use seashells and continue being hella cool
i hate everything right now
I fucking hate it when you’re in such a fantastically giddy mood and then you see one simple little thing that makes you think, “oh” and then you just get this empty feeling in your chest and you get nauseous and the world just crumbles and you want to just lay under a blanket and close your eyes and fall asleep and never wake up.
women are not powerful? oh please i can get your dick up in just a minute in public and there’s nothing you can do bout it
This scares me because it’s true
Why do you think men shame women for being sexy?
Well… I was thinking more like couches and tables and rugs and tablecloths and shit but okay XD
yes. Yes i fucking will do it and yes I will be proud damnit. Lamps. I would crochet lamps. and rugs. and tablecloths.
oh my god im so tired. the words on the screen in my classroom are blurring.
Train don’t give a fuck
CHOO CHOO MOTHER FUCKER SUCK MY DICK
~Dashing though the snow~
GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY
Ok it’s funny when they’re only pretend stabbing and beating and hanging each other
but what if they weren’t pretending? Like what if The Spine really did stab Rabbit then slam Hatchy with a chair and tie him up with a noose and repeatedly beat him and stab him until his hatch burst open and ‘candy’ fell out
all while Hatchworth was going
What then, huh kids??
excuse me but that is a MADE-UP gender. the only REal genders are as follows:
- a strange buzzing noise
- alien, I think
- an insurmountable feeling of dread
you have to pick one. I’m sorry I don’t make the rules